Restlessness and Distractions

It is fall here in Uruguay and our autumn has been gorgeous. It’s quieter and more

restful after our busy summer season. Recently while I was spending time gazing and

feeling the sweetness of His presence, I sensed Him say, “Don't let anything distract

you from my love.”

That whisper has increased my awareness of the distractions that take priority over

resting and receiving His love. Most are things that I allow and choose—cleaning the

kitchen, responding to emails, organizing craft supplies, all the while ignoring His

invitations to come. I can still commune with Him as I clean or organize, but it’s just

not the same. He’s giving His full attention, but He doesn’t have mine.

As I examine my actions, I recognize a restlessness that keeps me moving and

believing that my value is encapsulated in what I do—a belief system that values

productivity more than relationship. It’s the system in which many of us were raised. I

remember my father not allowing my sisters or I to ever be idle when we worked in his

dental office. We had to constantly be doing something, even if it was unnecessary.

This quote by Jack Frost clarifies this restless condition. “Restlessness is the feeling

that there is something more that I have to do, or put in order to feel valued. It is wired

to the unmet need of a child to feel secure in love.” I’m coming to the conclusion that

through my busyness I’m still chasing the approval of my absent earthly father, and

missing out on rich moments with my ever-present Abba—moments that have the

power to transform me and change the world around me.

I hoped by this time in my life, I would be able to chuck old, ingrained patterns and be

walking on the heights with Him. Fortunately He is patient and kind in our processes,

as we discern and challenge false belief systems—such as this pattern that provokes

me to do things because I fear I’m not looking or being productive. My desire is to

recognize and choose, like Mary, that prioritizing being with Him is superior—it won’t

be taken from me, and it will have eternal impact.

Something that has been helping me as I shed this false belief system, are the

following questions:

Am I willing to reorder my life for what my heart most wants—for what is most valuable

and eternal?

If I am not willing, why?

If I am willing, what would that look like?

Another thing that has been shifting my restlessness is a prayer based on John 14:20.

May I recognize that I don’t have to strive to create a connection with You. We are

already connected. I am in You and You are in me. May I rest in that place and remain

in Your love.

Keep pursuing Him, receiving His love, and giving it away.

Cathy