Well it happened. I got “the vid”, as I learned I am to call it Who knew it would be one of the great spiritual lessons of the year?.
In order to not infect Eric, to minimize our quarantine time and because we could, Eric stayed away from me for the ten days I was “infectious” and quarantined in Parkdale. This left me home alone for ten days.
What I found to my delight was that I was not home alone. God's Spirit was with me in very tangible ways. Spirit was my buddy, the person I talked to, asked questions of. The person who joined me at meals, who liked doing puzzles, and discussing what I read and who approved of naps! He was especially good at Hygge, slowing down and noticing the small delights in the day.
The downside was fear. If you get Covid, you will find that fear quickly slips in. Who else did I infect? What will be the trajectory of my case? Will I need to be hospitalized? Will this be it? What lingering effects will I have?
Spirit was also strong on not letting fear in. Neither of us liked how I acted when that happened. So I worked through my Covid fear questions (many times as they kept popping up). And since my quarantine was during the election season, which brought anxiety, we often ignored the news, but talked about that too.
One special night, I set the table with the good china and silver and had a delicious meal, then a dance party. I am embarrassed to admit it now, but it felt so right and real. It was how I would live if I were really free to be me.
Since covid started I have been asking these questions: “How do I not miss this? How do I not miss the gifts of this time? How do I feel the emotions of it-good and bad? How do I press into God? How do I not miss what I am supposed to learn in this time?
Well, I got a crash course. A covid retreat that I will always remember the pleasure (and I understand complete privilege) of practicing the presence of God.
The take away I would love to give all of you is an increasing sense of how big God is. How much He loves each of us and wants us to enjoy life.
He is present above the chaos.
Sing the third stanza of Away in the Manger and make it your prayer this Christmas
“Be near me Lord Jesus I ask Thee to stay,
Close by me forever and Love me I pray.”
-Anne Lider