Perhaps it's an invitation.
Updated: Nov 2, 2021
The heat wave we just went through was oppressive, stopping activity and bringing a sense of difficulty to common daily activities, and leaving me feeling frustrated, irritable and wondering if the world is ending...ha!
Whether it's the heat, the toddler tantrum, the selfish boss, the unthankful spouse, they are all revealing things within us. Our short temper, our critical spirit, our inclination to judge, blame, or reach too easily for a drink.
There is the old adage of what really reveals your character is "who you are when no one is looking." Similarly, there is a revealing of our character when we are in those trying moments.
I will tell you what, an unjust email, 112 degree heat and strong-willed moments getting kiddos to bed will reveal my true colors.
What happens next? Well we are offered an invitation. We are shown these moments and we can choose to change and grow, or we can choose to criticize, blame, grab another drink, watch another episode on Netflix, and stay the same.
So often in our relationships we do the same thing. We have a heated moment, we're frustration, communication breaks down, and we are offered a chance to either dig our heels in and point the finger or a chance to grow.
What we often want is for our partner to change. For them to be a better communicator, care more about x, or understand y... What would happen if we took the invitation to change ourselves? To become more clear about what we want and need? Worked to let go of our unrealistic expectations for ourselves and those around us? Spent time digging into who we are and what we want out of the world, instead of looking to our partners and kids for identity, affirmation and purpose?
I know for me accepting invitations to grow could be a full-time job. I would have little time left to judge others, and probably have more success in experiencing change that I wanted. There is a lot that is out of my control, but there is also a lot within myself I can change.
And changing that just might change everything.
Where might you being offered an invitation to grow? What would it mean to accept that invitation?