I have a new friend who is a long distance runner. She introduced me to the concept of using a “pace bunny”during a race to help gauge whether you are on pace to finish at your desired time. You are either ahead or behind your desired pace. Or right on target .
In a quiet space my friend heard Jesus say, “you are using me as a consultant, not as a pace bunny. I want to be your pace bunny. But you must be close enough to me to be able to see me and hear my voice for me to be your pace bunny.”
I have been thinking a lot about the pace bunny metaphor for me, and realizing how far in front of a situation my brain takes me before I slow down to consult with Spirit. For me that looks like taking the time to ask “what do you want me to know? What do you want me to do?”
Two weeks ago a cancerous polyp was found and removed in my colon during my colonoscopy. For two weeks I have been having diagnostic tests run. Full blood and metabolic panels, MRI with contrast, CT scan of my abdomen, pelvis and chest…
You can see where this metaphor has been incredibly helpful to stay in the space where I can hear the Spirit’s voice. It’s a place where I am not rushing forward in my brain to worst case scenarios (not that I completely avoided that, but I did stay there a shorter time) or completely ignoring my feelings and shoving them and not grappling with my fears and anxiety.
When I use the spirit as my pace bunny I feel much more peace and joy, instead of anxiously getting lost in my own mind and thoughts of the future. I also feel like I get to honestly examine my feelings and become aware of what I am feeling. Since I am doing them with God, and not in my own swirl of emotion, I am listening for His perspective on what I need to know and do. My faith feels much more tangible and practical and God feels real and accessible
Just before Christmas I got back my test results and they found out as far as they can tell the cancer was removed with the polyp. They are not 100% sure about it having gone elsewhere in the body and are taking it to the tumor board this week, but my doctor’s gut is that we will just closely monitor. And honestly, when are we ever 100 % sure… So I am still sitting with my pace bunny.
After Christmas we have been in Parkdale enjoying the snow, sledding and making family memories. I now have a new image for my pace bunny. It is one I got to make with my grandkids, and one frozen in place so I can always find it in my imagination.
May you stay with the Spirit as your Pace bunny in the New Year.!
Anne